


hear my heart.

by bunnybaes



Category: CIX (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - School, Confession, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Some Cursing, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, contains lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:20:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25728058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bunnybaes/pseuds/bunnybaes
Summary: Yonghee has been having a huge crush on his best friend for what seems like his whole lifetime now and he is going to confess in a special way today. Well, at least if it works out.
Relationships: Bae Jinyoung/Kim Yonghee
Comments: 5
Kudos: 58





	hear my heart.

**Author's Note:**

> [here's](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1qlUFuYEzOy42u9pu6aQk8?si=HgYqRNKfS1iKYNZvM7Atjw) a mandatory playlist ;)

“What if he doesn’t realize what I’m trying to tell him? What if he’s not paying attention? What if I’m being too extra? What if I’m being too dramatic? What if I’m being corny? What if he finally notices and rejects me? What if he won’t talk to me ever again? What if—”

What if Jinyoung is just plain stupid to not notice everything all this time? What if Yonghee is the dumb one to not realize that everything has been mutual after all?

He stares at the ceiling before burying his head on his pillow and screams.

It’s almost 4am. After doing a deep screech within his pillow, he pauses for a while to contemplate if that was too loud to wake up the whole neighborhoodㅡbut his mom did not barge into his room to scream louder at him so he guesses it was fine.

He has been making different, myriad, scenarios inside his head all night. And some hours were spent debating with himself if he should finally do it or not.

Being a hopeless romantic and one that is obsessed with reading young adult novels and watching lots of teen dramas, he comes up with an idea to confess to Jinyoung but his worries and fears are growing stronger than him. His inner confident self tells him nothing is about to change if he would just let these feelings go on inside his heart and remain where they are.

Yonghee tries to focus on his breathing before the sunlight finally peeks through his blue curtain in a few minutes but he is so tense and his intrusive thoughts are louder than his deep breaths.

The intrusive thought is Jinyoung. And his smile and his lips and and his voice and and his hand on Yonghee’s and the stern look on his face when he’s talking to non-Yonghee people and him looking away from Yonghee when they meet each other in the hallway and Yonghee is just about to hit him up. It’s happening. Yonghee knew that it was bound to happen after confessing to him. All of their childhood being dumped to nowhere out of Yonghee’s reach, everything is ruined.

“Yong-ah, wake up. You’ll be late for school again.”

A series of morning alarms and snoozes.

“Kim Yonghee.”

Another morning alarm and a hand shaking his shoulder.

“KIM YONGHEE.”

A loud scream from his mom before he finally opens his eyes wide to think,

_today is the day._

His dream of Jinyoung ignoring him at school recurs in his head while he takes a shower before his mom screams at him again for taking way too long in the shower and his breakfast is getting colder.

He’s about to be late again and he barely slept but his energy is so high, may it be the caffeine from his coffee or the adrenaline from the thoughts of finally confessing to Jinyoung today; perhaps the fears.

He doesn’t even bother checking his bag for all the school stuff he might forget, instead he checks the pocket for his iPod and his earpods.

As long as they are there. That’s everything he needs for today. It’s the least thing he can forget.

Maybe he’s not so right. Because the moment he steps inside the bus, he realizes that he left his english notebook on top of his messy desk and a homework is about to be submitted after lunch.

 _“Fuck.”_ He curses to himself as he throws himself in a seat before the bus starts moving.

Why does the universe seem to be so against him today of all days? Everything was planned out.

The plan is to not meet Jinyoung today at all until dismissal and when they head home together.

Because he wants Jinyoung to somehow miss him for the rest of the day. That is something he doesn’t want to admit to himself. For him it was _just because._

Another reality is just because he doesn’t want anything to change his mind anymore. Seeing Jinyoung before confessing might make him back off again so he finds a way to help himself.

But not the universe. Now he needs Jinyoung to help him with his english homework again so that it can be done in a span of an hour before submission but he has also told Jinyoung that he won’t be able to be with him for lunch because he needs to talk with his group mates for a non-existing project. He’s screwed one way or another.

Option A: Just give up. Maybe today is not the day.  
Option B: Find a classmate who can let you copy even if it will crush your ego. (Yonghee NEVER copies homework from anyone but Jinyoung.)  
Option C: Just get a 0 for this homework I guess.

He settles with Option C.

—

Yonghee spends the rest of the day being fidgety inside his classrooms to avoid meeting Jinyoung in the hallway or the cafeteria.

He reviews his playlist again and again, making sure that the right song is in the right order. Continuously making scenarios inside his head.

With all the worries in him, Yonghee just realized that Jinyoung may have an emergency meeting or something he needs to do after dismissal. After debating with himself, he opens Jinyoung’s message box.

“Still free later?” He types. A 30 second pause before sending.

Jinyoung replies within a minute.

“Of course. See you 😘” The emoji makes Yonghee snort.

“Your meeting with your groupmates is done?” Jinyoung follows.

“What meetiㅡ” Yonghee types. _Oh shit_. He deletes right away. “Yeah.. boring. See you later!”

He locks his phone and exhales a deep breath as Home by Bruno Major plays from his playlist.

—

Yonghee spares himself some signs to consider.

If Jinyoung insists on skipping at least one song, this isn’t it. He’s just going to give up.

Or maybe still do it.

 _‘But not in this stupid fucking corny way.’_ He thinks to himself.

Their dismissal is nearing and Yonghee is not paying the least attention to his lectures anymore; he's just locking and unlocking his phone every 30 seconds to check the time until it vibrates and he almost jumps from his seat when Jinyoung’s notification appears.

“IM OUT”  
“THE PROF DISMISSED US EARLY WHERE ARE YOU”

_Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck._

Shaking, Yonghee types. “Still in class, probably be out in 5 minutes.”

The longest five minutes of his life so far.

But now he’s taking one step per minute out of the classroom. He’s too scared to meet Jinyoung.

_This is your best friend. This is still Jinyoung. Come on weak shit, act normal. You can do this._

Yonghee thinks to himself as he exhales, walking slower than a turtle.

But that’s the point. This is his best friend. This is his Jinyoung. What’s going to change anyway? What’s going to change if he confesses? Will he lose him? Will it stop him for losing him ever in his life? What’s the point? Will he really do it?

And there goes the worries again before Jinyoung jumps beside him as he puts his arms around his shoulders causing Yonghee to freak out and jump.

“Fuckiㅡ” Yonghee curses while clutching his chest.

“The hell are you thinking this deep about? And why are you walking so slow? Good thing I went here instead of waiting for you until the next hour. You said you’ll be out in five damn minutes. It’s been TWENTY five minutes Yonghee and I’m hungry, let’s head to get tteokboki!” Jinyoung blabs without pausing.

This day should be nothing different from all their usual days. But for Yonghee, it’s either going to be their last day as best friends if everything doesn’t work out the way he wants it to, either going to be the day he’ll take to his grave, or the day they’ll both happily remember together in the future if it is how the universe wants to treat them.

Yonghee tries to act casual listening to Jinyoung’s stories, responding in his most natural way just like how he would if he’s not about to do something stupid but Jinyoung still notices when they were already facing each other while eating tteokboki in their usual hang out spot. Yonghee has been agitated and restless all day and at least he tries his best to not show it now that he’s finally with Jinyoung. He tried. But he’s not helping himself.

“You.” Jinyoung blurts after a whole silent minute.

Yonghee chokes on his food shuddering before looking at Jinyoung.

“What did you do? I know you.” Jinyoung searches Yonghee's face, giving Yonghee the ‘spill it’ ook.

“What are you talking about..” Yonghee scoffs as he resumes on munching.

“You know how our minds work. You can’t keep something from me.” Jinyoung reminds Yonghee.

If only that’s how emotions work for them too. Yonghee hopes that Jinyoung could just immediately realize how he’s been feeling about him without having to say it. Yonghee hopes Jinyoung could just feel the same way he does. But it’s not. And he’s never going to find out if he never does anything anyway.

“I knew it!” Jinyoung slaps the table while chuckling with his mouth full before choking so he gulps in his diet coke beside him.

“Knew what?” Yonghee cautiously looks at Jinyoung. _He knew what?_ Yonghee’s heart starts to race.

“Come on Yonghee you’re about to ask me a favor are you? Let me guess. A letter for your crush? Are you gonna do it? You’re going to confess?” Jinyoung looks like he’s so convinced that he’s right while whispering the last part. This whole conversation is probably just a series of them choking as Jinyoung mentions the word confess at Yonghee so now he’s the one chugging his drink.

Yonghee just remains silent battling with his subconscious.

_Maybe this is making it the perfect timing._

“I’ll tell you on our way home. Let’s go?” Yonghee asks Jinyoung as he picks up his bag from the floor. Jinyoung gets up from his seat right away.

“Sure. Exciting.”

—

Yonghee feels more confident than ever now. This is it.

Jinyoung clings closer to him with their arms linked. Yonghee thinks that this could be the last time. Or the start of everything.

Their way home consists of a thirty minute bus ride, depending on the traffic. And since he perfectly picked Friday, the traffic jam would certainly be bad and would probably take them an hour in the bus.

The playlist lasts for an hour.

And they’ll have to walk through a park for 15 more minutes before they separate ways on the way to their own houses.

If everything goes well, Yonghee would walk Jinyoung home.

If it doesn’t work out by the time they get off the bus (if Jinyoung acts off or something, a sign that isn’t right at least) he’ll probably just head off the nearest convenience store to get a beer and cry.

They stand next to each other at the bus stop as Jinyoung keeps bugging Yonghee into spilling it already but he keeps telling him that he’ll do so in the bus.

And by the moment they get into the bus, Yonghee feels like he is about to throw up. His lack of sleep adding. But that doesn’t stop Jinyoung the curious cat from bugging him.

And the truth is, it has been killing Jinyoung to know. Ever since Yonghee mentioned this budding crush he has been having, Jinyoung never lets a chance slide to squeeze a little detail from Yonghee because it’s killing him and now could be the moment he’ll say something about it.

Jinyoung is right anyway. He is always right about guessing Yonghee’s thoughts. But not so entirely right this time.

“So… what is it?” Jinyoung puts his hand on Yonghee’s thigh shaking it as Yonghee searches for his iPod and earpods from his bag’s pocket.

“I realized…” Yonghee says pretending to sound sleepy, “I'm actually a bit tired right now. What about I tell you about it tomorrow?”

“Yonghee what the fuck.” Jinyoung sulks as Yonghee hands him the other end of earpods.

“Oh what about let’s just listen to this playlist? I found a bunch of songs last night. I’m sure you’ll like them.” It’s a lie followed by another lie. Yonghee looked for those songs for a whole month. He’s not sure if Jinyoung will like them or even get every message he’s trying to say from every song.

Jinyoung doesn’t say anything but oblige as he puts on the earpods.

Yonghee starts sweating as the first song starts playing. And it sends butterflies inside Jinyoung’s stomach.

_'Cause I'm yours.  
Between the two of us,  
Let's not have any secrets.  
over time  
between you and me  
I hope it's the same now.'_

Yonghee looks outside the bus window as the rain started pouring.

 _“What if it's just another love song to him?”_ He thinks to himself as he bites his inner cheeks.

_'Stay right by my side  
And let me teach you how to love  
With you I just can't get enough'_

The song goes on.

 _“Does this mean anything? What if I’m assuming things? What if it’s just a song?”_ Jinyoung responds to Yonghee’s thoughts without the both of them saying anything.

Yonghee peeks at Jinyoung’s face. It is impossible to read his emotions. Jinyoung looks back at him but Yonghee turns his gaze outside again right away.

The next song starts.

_'I guess you got me where you want me,  
and I'm not sure if we should slow it down  
and I'm ashamed of the way that I've appeared  
but I promise I'm not gonna let you down  
by the way, I don't know how to be in love  
i'm not afraid, i'm a slave right away  
and i'm here for good.’_

Jinyoung and Yonghee both tenses. Jinyoung with his doubtful thoughts, Yonghee with his worries.

_'I need to know.'_

And the playlist goes on without them saying a word.

Jinyoung wants to be right so bad.

He wants this playlist to be for him. He wants this playlist to be about him.

The next song says, _‘I like you, say it back.’_

Words never want to come out from Jinyoung’s chest as bad as this.

 _“I like you Yonghee, I like you. I love you.”_ He thinks to himself as he stares at Yonghee whose eyes are closed as his head is leaned against the bus window.

Jinyoung thinks he’s asleep as he mentioned that he was tired so he gently moves Yonghee’s head to be rested on his shoulder.

But he was wrong.

Yonghee’s heart started to race as he remains acting asleep.

_Could this be it? Is he hearing everything I’ve been wanting to say?_

Yonghee and Jinyoung’s unsaid thoughts both float in the air as the sound of rain pouring on the bus roof harmonizes every song in Yonghee’s playlist with Jinyoung carefully listening to every single lyrics.

Jinyoung have always wanted Yonghee to be right beside him. All the time. Yonghee always wants Jinyoung to want to be beside him. That’s how it always works; all this time. And none of them dares to say a word. Now that Yonghee is doing his best to let Jinyoung know, it’s now Jinyoung’s turn to take the risk.

He can’t let this night pass without knowing what it means, or if it even means anything. It is their life-long friendship in line, for the both of them through this whole bus ride; through their whole life all this time.

When they are near their stop, Jinyoung shakes Yonghee’s thighs to wake the boy who was never asleep the whole time. He was just feeling Jinyoung’s warmth. He opens his eyes looking outside then to Jinyoung who is smiling gently at him so he smiles back.

The last song ends at a perfect timing before they get off the bus. Their hearts are both about to jump out of their chests; wanting to be together so bad.

There’s just silence in the first five minute.

Before they both break it at the same time of all times.

“Yoㅡ”

“Jinㅡ”

Chuckles.

“Okay, you first.” Yonghee says as they stride down the wet pavement.

“No it’s alㅡ” Jinyoung says before he cuts himself off. “Fine.”

Yonghee is badly sweating despite the cold air caused by the rain. “Go ahead.”

“Did it…” Jinyoung rubs his neck as they continue to walk down the dark street with orange light posts reflecting in the puddles before they reach the small playground. “The playlist...” He stutters.

Yonghee’s heart drops, the ground is tugging his heart down. He wants the ground to swallow him whole and alive; or dead if possible.

Jinyoung knows. He notices.

“Does it... mean anything?” Jinyoung finally slips. “I mean... god I'm sorry if I am just assuming things. I must be really delusional. I shouldn't be asking this. Stupid Jinyoung. Oh but I liked all thㅡ”

“Yeah.” Yonghee halts from walking. “It does.”

Jinyoung pauses too, looking at Yonghee’s face glowing under the light post.

“As in...?” Jinyoung continually scans Yonghee’s face for immediate answers, his head is pounding along with his heart.

Yonghee smiles.

“As in IㅡI love you.” Yonghee stutters hesitating to say the word love while looking at Jinyoung’s eyes. His eyes that shine even through the dark.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Jinyoung covers his face with his hands as he starts blushing. “Was it me? Your crush? All this time?”

“Always been you. Since day one.” Yonghee looks down at his feet, not knowing what to do as they are in the middle of a dark and quiet playground, it’s just the cricket noise and the loud beating of their hearts with them.

Jinyoung chuckles as he takes Yonghee’s hand and puts his other hand on Yonghee’s cheek to lift his face and look at him. “Hey…”

“What took you so long?” Jinyoung asks, smiling as he caresses Yonghee’s cheek.

“I was too scared to lose you. That’s it. I thought you didn’t feel the same way. What if I just dump our friendship into nowhere? What if Iㅡ” Yonghee pauses as he looks back at Jinyoung. “Do you feel the same way?”

Without answering, Jinyoung leans in to kiss Yonghee.

Pretty much sums up the words that need to be said all their lives.

**Author's Note:**

> SO!!! cheers to my first ever work posted in here AND the longest fluff i've ever written (honestly my first fluff too ngl anymore). The honor goes to my loves aka yongbae ❤️
> 
> Also, i love you so much for beta-ing this for me [rara](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fierycrimson/pseuds/fierycrimson), thanks op!


End file.
